Well, i'm now at 114kg! One more and i've officially lost 20kg.
I plan on joining the ULU gym on monday inshaallah, that'll be good and will hopefully speed up the phase 1 process.

I don't know how I feel about the weightloss. People keep asking me and they don't realise how hard it is for your brain to assimilate with the reality that is your changing body.
I watched a video by David So and how fat was a part of his identity and it made a lot of things click into place and I completely understood where he was coming from and finally felt like someone had put into words what I'd felt all along but could never do the same.

It's hilarious how society makes you focus on weight so much, but when you actually allow your weight to define you, you're ~too sensitive~. I mean it's ridiculous, no matter what extreme you are on the scale, weight will always be a challenge for you and that challenge is a part of your life, and to act like it isn't is almost denying an entire part of you. It's a sad reality, but it's a reality people don't want to talk about.

I'm excited about the gym. Now that i'm lighter and my energy levels are better, gym should be easier and my knees shouldn't hurt any more. Exciting!

I haven't made a post in a long time.

There were two weeks where I didn't lose much, unfortunately it was leading up to my period but nonetheless I was freaking out a little. One week I lost 1kilo, then the next I lost 0.9 so it made me sad but it's fine, after my period was over I lost 3.1 kilos! haha.

I am now 120kg.
I can visibly see the difference, but I've been this weight before so it's nothing shocking. People around me are shocked though, it's cute and hilarious. I think when I hit the 110kg mark, and eventually the 100kg mark, it's going to be surreal. I don't remember the last time I was less than 115kg so I can't even picture it.

It's nice wearing clothes and seeing how baggy they are on me now. However, that also means I'm going to have to start donating a lot, which is fine, but also means I don't have clothes haha. And I don't have the money to buy new ones.

It's fine. I'll worry about stuff like that when the time comes.

Edit: So weird, the last post I made I was 127 kilos?? Jeeze. I'm 120 now, that's crazy.

Weekly weign-in!

Lost another 3 kilos, I'm at 127 kilos now. Blood pressure pretty much the same as last week.
Skin treatment hurt like hell. Even dad noticed my weight change, and he never notices anything hahaha

I still miss meat.

Sleep is difficult lately. Nightmares, constantly waking up in the night etc. I woke up today really unhappy and very exhausted, hopefully it passes soon.

I can see why getting weighed every week is a good thing. I don't know why I get scared to do it, though, i'm following the plan exactly how I should and yet I still worry!

It's exciting, I can't wait to reach 120, it'll feel really good, I think (InshaAllah).

Went and got my treatments yesterday and my weigh in, 2.7 kilos lighter! which is about 6lb. My blood pressure was 124/86, and after checking a blood pressure chart, that's nearly an ideal blood pressure rate! woohoo!

I think the waiting for each week to see how things are going is good, I don't know why it's better this way than with weight watchers... Maybe it's because i'm in a room on my own with the nurse, not in a line like cattle in a hall where everyone is watching, and having the people weighing you saying 'this isn't good enough.'

I'm officially on day 6 and it's getting easier as time goes on. The cravings are still there, but the meat cravings are calming down thankfully, I can't wait for the cravings to disappear entirely. It's really hard when people offer you food constantly, augh. So hard. Because it's not like i'm fasting, i'm still technically 'eating' but I just can't have what you're having haha.

Ah well!

The treatments this week were quite painful, more so than last week, but I'm just going to have to deal with it, it's more effective when it's stronger.

Today is officially the first day of cutting out all hard foods and replacing my meals with the sachet packs and supplements.

I had the cheese omelette this morning, it was fine, then the orange juice which was disgusting but i'll have to get used to. I have 3 more meals, one I should go make now, come to think of it.

I went to my favourite fitspiration tumblr blog to get some motivation because, honestly, this is difficult and I miss food and starchy carbs. I don't even eat that much rice and pasta, it's just bread that I miss. And chicken.

Aaaaanyway, I went to the blog and read a post about how it's not motivation that'll keep you going, because such a thing goes up and down all the time, it's dedication. So that's it, isn't it? I have to dedicate myself to this and dedicate myself to a future that has yet to come but inshaAllah will one day.

Honestly the most exciting prospect is losing this weight and being a size where I can start toning up and hitting the gym and making my heart healthy. Yeah. I want that.

I had my first treatment today!
First was the ultrasound to break down the fats in my abdomen area, then the skin tightening treatment which was SO AWKWARD and slightly painful. Actually, it was quite painful, mainly around my leg area, where most of the cellulite is.

The therapist I was with today was lovely, she made me feel really comfortable, even if I was in just my underwear haha.

I got all the supplements and the powder sachets.
My blood test results show that my iron is quite low, which explains a lot in terms of fatigue with uni, so I bought some supplements today to last me the month.

Better read through all the information I was given today and tomorrow I officially start! Scared but excited at the same time. I've got 5 months to go down to 97kg, it's a big jump but I'm ready.

Balancing my eman/salah and uni with all of this is going to be hard but InshaAllah I have the strength to get through this year with flying colours. I'm ready!

This blog will be following my weight loss journey over the next 8 months. I will discuss any initiatives I take, changes I feel, and just general thoughts that I can look back on.

I had my first appointment on the 6th of November 2013. I had my metabolic rate measured by breathing into this machine for 10 minutes, turns out my body burns off 2400 calories a day. I was both fasting and in a rested state when this test was being carried out.

I had my height measured and I am 170cm.
My weight is currently 133kg.
My BMI is 43.
Blood pressure is fine, and I'm also getting blood test results back on Friday to check everything inside.
My current goal is to reach 81kg with this group, then if I wish to lose more and go down to 70kg, then I'll do it on my own with the help of exercise and eating right.

I am very over weight, and according to general BMI charts I am obese.
My knees hurt a lot, so does my back, I'm tired all the time and I'm unhappy with the way I look.
Thanks to my Aunt Summer, I found this group that'll guide me along and work with me to lose this weight.
I also spoke to my brother for a good 40 minutes today, and we're devising a small exercise plan for the time being, and gradually it'll change and become more intensive as time goes on, and as my weight decreases and my joints and muscles strengthen.

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